Jan 5, 2015 | Singleness
Since I was very young, I knew I wanted to be married. There’s a picture of me at six years old, sitting on my mom’s cedar chest with a napkin on my head, in a white dress, holding a bouquet of fake flowers in two chubby hands. I always wanted to be a bride!
But since most women marry in their mid- to late twenties, and I had plenty of time on my hands. After an epiphany at age 21, I realized I wanted to be married – but was woefully unprepared. I commissioned myself to develop habits that would, at the very least, make the transition to marriage a little easier when that day finally came.
Dec 18, 2014 | Christian Life & Theology, Singleness
Dear girl,
You’ve stopped on the breakneck journey of life to read this post, and I’m glad you did. For the moment you’re here, I want you to set down the two suitcases you have in your hands – the one called Father, and the other called Mom.
I want you to set them aside and hear something true.
Every person on this earth has parents, whether that term refers simply to their biological origins or if it has the deeper relational meaning of a family tie. You have a mother and dad. Some of you don’t know either of them. Some of you lost one to death or divorce. Some of you were hurt by them, abused by them, or neglected by them. Some feel you can’t meet their expectations. Some of you were babied and enabled by them.
Our parents have a profound effect on our lives, and their choices have the power to influence us for years to come.
But dear girl, your life is not the sum of your parents’ failure or success.
You are neither a trophy nor a disappointment.
Your identity is not based on your last name or your parents’ actions. They are imperfect people, sinners just like you and me. But their flaws should not dictate our value, or we will go through life measuring our worth against the opinions of people instead of the opinion of God.
Some of us had parents who did things well: they loved us, they trained us, they taught us, they cared about us. But those of us with this story carry another burden: the burden of expectation. Just as some carry the weight of their parents’ poor decisions or disapproval, others carry the weight of comparison. They think their marriage is supposed to look just like their parents’ did. They think their lives, homes, and children are supposed to be just like their childhood. And when it isn’t – as most assuredly will be the case – they are assaulted with discontent and disillusionment.
Dec 2, 2014 | Christian Womanhood, Singleness
Dear girl,
When I got your letter my heart sank to the pit of my stomach and I felt sick. I read the pain and confusion in every line; the desperate plea for clarity… for identity. When you met Jesus, you gave it all up for Him: all that identified you as you. Your makeup and nails and pretty things, your music and yoga pants. You gave it up because you thought you had to. You thought doing all the ‘right things’ was what faith in Him looks like.
And now you stand here, wondering who you are without who you were, confused, frustrated, and lonely.
Perhaps someone told you to get rid of your manicure in the name of vanity.
Perhaps someone told you your lipstick was too bright.
Perhaps you read my post about yoga pants and thought changing the trappings was enough in God’s eyes.
Dear girl, stop following the rules.
Nov 21, 2014 | Dating & Marriage
Like almost everything else I write about on this blog (kissing, dating standards, modesty, submission, men), there are two extreme camps on this issue. One implies women should spend life in their living rooms, skip college, and wait for a man who pursues them. The other vouches for ’empowerment’: citing ‘equality’ as reason enough for women to ask men out on a date the same way a man would ask a woman. Women are encouraged to pursue men and make their availability wantonly clear.
And there we are, God’s women, sitting in between these two camps: one piously citing faith in a very unseen suitor, the other out every evening with a different guy.
What’s a girl to do?
Nov 17, 2014 | Christian Life & Theology
I chose to move to Virginia. I chose to make that change from small town of 5,000 to a bigger city of 75,000. I’d say it’s a good choice – I got a great job, made wonderful friends, and met my husband!
But I never really accepted this place as my home.
