Too many single women get discouraged about motherhood before they even arrive there. Motherhood does not destroy your identity, nor does it take away from the life you lived as a single. Motherhood enriches your days, filling them with as many smiles and giggles as new tasks and responsibilities.
My daughter is not my world, and I’m a better mom because of it.
Not better than other moms who do things differently; better than the mom I would be if I did things differently – if my world revolved around her.
I love her. She is a light to my life: her smiles, her giggles, and those milky blue eyes that search my face from behind her Tommee Tippee. The little fingers that grip my pinky – I love them. I love her eagerness, her excitement, and her energy.
We don’t qualify our jobs by demeaning them. We don’t say, “I’m just an engineer” or “I’m just a recruiter” or “I’m just a hairstylist”. We’re taught to take healthy pride in our skills and accomplishments, to embrace and celebrate what we offer to our communities. Yet so often this world is an unsafe place for the family, where the longest hours are put in and the most patience is required, all for the compensation of a sleepy smile, little steps, and first words. So we cloak our motherhood with disclaimers and admit we are “just moms”.
Scandal.
That’s what it is, not just what it’s called.
And they knew it would be, when they wrote that episode: the one where a child’s life is taken to boost viewer ratings or cause a ruckus across the internet for a few days. They knew that’s how it would go when they wrote an abortion scene. #Istandwithplannedparenthood, right? It’s just a show, right?
But it’s not.
As someone who finds joy in being busy, I always have multiple outer and inner expectations to meet. But the busier my schedule, the more likely I am to forget something, run late, or overwhelm myself to the point of anxiety. Marriage revealed to me just how often I lived in a stressed-out, anxious state – despite the habits I had already formed. So I began to devote more time to developing a real schedule and establishing a morning routine.