So when I failed – whether in word, thought, or action – I would go through days of spiritual turmoil attempting to figure out whether God would forgive me, if I had jeopardized my salvation, and if I was worthy to even call myself a Christian. Sometimes I wondered if I was even a Christian at all. Whatever the sin, I saw my repeated failure as mounting evidence that I very obviously did not love Jesus, and because of that, Jesus must not love me.
Let me start this by saying my blog posts are designed to be transparent. But today I want to tell a story that fills in the details left out of many blog posts from the last nine months.
Josh started job searching last December as he was approaching the last semester of his studies in computer engineering. As we moved into the final semester, I began assisting with the search, looking up jobs, filling out applications, and editing resumes and cover letters. Josh put much effort into the search while also balancing senior projects in one of the hardest programs Liberty University offers (fun fact: the program requires the highest level of ability in math above all other programs. I can barely add 6 and 7. We’re a good match).