In the early years of my marriage I struggled deeply with anger. While I still struggle in this area, the amount of anger I spent on Josh in those early years was much greater than it is now. The change in my heart – and marriage – didn’t come from learning anger management techniques (helpful as those might be) or counting to ten and breathing through my nose. The progress in my marriage began with the affection of God.
THE BLOG
Dating & Marriage
Honest Marriage Episode Four // On Fighting Well
In our early years of marriage we did not fight fair. We lectured. We withdrew. We were condescending and rude. Even when we learned to fight with more grace, we ended up in the same unhealthy patterns of communication – fighting over the same things and ending the same way. Josh struggled to forgive, I struggled to apologize. While we still struggle in these areas today, we’ve been equipped with tools to better navigate our fights and to communicate our needs graciously.
When Your Husband’s Christian Walk is Weak
I can feel the pain and sadness without even hearing their voices. I can read it every Monday when questions are sent in; every week when emails come to the inbox; even face to face in the lives of people I love.
“I’m growing, but he’s not,” they whisper. “What do I do?”
Honest Marriage Episode Two // On Gender Roles
Complementarian or egalitarian? These theological terms for the relationship between men and women in marriage and church are loaded with emotion, but do they have to be? And is that what Scripture intended? Over our years being married, Josh and I have discussed these theological points at length. As my ministry has grown we have further discussed what our marriage should look like in light of my public leadership.
Honest Marriage Episode Three // On Sexual Sin
Years ago I (Phylicia) was a sexuality blogger. I wrote extensively about purity culture, boundaries, dating, and my own history of sexual sin and addiction. Though I’ve seen stopped writing about it (the blog posts are still there!) it’s still a part of my story and by association, part of my marriage. Josh also brings experiences from his past to our relationship. In this week’s episode of the marriage series, we discuss how those testimonies impact our relationship and what to do when your spouse struggles with sexual sin.
Honest Marriage Episode One // Our Marriage Story
From a bookstore parking lot to publishing books together, Josh and Phylicia share the story of their relationship and how the theology of covenant kept them together through their most difficult marriage years. Josh is the surprise guest in this fifth season of Verity with Phylicia Masonheimer, and he’ll be joining us each week to talk “honest marriage” – what the Bible says about marriage and how that has been fleshed out for Josh and Phy personally over the last almost-eight years.
It Takes More Than Two to Make a Marriage
My hands shook as I poured a glass of tea and my voice trembled when I spoke: “So… in my marriage…” I almost choked on the words, launched into a circle of women I barely knew. Women older than me, married ten, fifteen, thirty years to my three. Women whose marriages looked happy and beautiful and good.
Why Boyfriends Do Not Get Husband Privileges
For many Christian girls, the boundaries in dating are fluid and ever-changing. How far you go depends on who you are with, and the standards of purity are, well, fifty shades of gray.
How to Have a Quiet Time as a Couple
Whether you’re dating or newly married, pursuing God together is the surest way to build a strong relationship foundation. If you’re dating, spending time in God’s Word as a couple will strengthen your resolve for purity. If you’re married, regular devotional times will transform your attitudes toward one another.
An Open Letter to Every New Bride
They tell you the rose-colored glasses come off. And the newness you feel now – that excitement of standing on the brink – it will unfold into the new-old of day to day, still novel, yet normal. Don’t let it go.